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| Did you make any of these resolutions? |
The new year has officially begun. To many, with the new year comes a new beginning. What does that mean for you? Do you enjoy setting goals in January for what you’d like to accomplish in the coming year? How often do you revisit those goals? Do you find yourself setting goals that you know are attainable, or do you find that you set goals that you know are unrealistic?
Self sabotage is a common occurrence when it comes to New Year?s resolutions and goals in general. Self doubt often accompanies this emotion. Sometimes people set goals that they never intend to attain?whether they are trying to impress someone else, or trying to live in someone else?s shoes for awhile?there are many reasons. Others dream big and set huge, seemingly unreachable goals that quickly overwhelm them?and thus they abandon them.
You have to know the WHAT, WHY, WHEN, and HOW of each goal you set.
This is necessary to avoid patterns of self sabotage and self doubt and give yourself the best chance of achieving all your goals?no matter how lofty they may seem. I like to think of it as “holistic goal-setting”.
It is helpful to know WHAT will change in your life once you reach each goal you set, but sometimes solely focusing on the WHAT hinders our ability to understand the HOW. This is something I’m always working on?I am a very creative person with lots of ideas and I often want to do them all right now! It?s important to have a blueprint, or roadmap to keep you on track when you want to achieve something big.
When setting goals this month, as well as throughout the year, it is important to first understand WHY you are setting them in the first place. It?s great to know WHAT you want, but it?s even better to know WHY you want it in the first place.
Then think about the WHEN. Does this have to be done right now? Will it take time? Can it wait until June? Are there other goals or events in my life that are more important that should be tackled first?
The HOW comes next.
The answer to the question of ?HOW will I achieve this goal? is often not a single sentence or even a single process. It has steps, levels, even tiers. The times I’ve become the most frustrated when pondering resolutions and goals has the most to do with the HOW. Being the creative, impulsive person I am, I often become intimidated by the practicality and patience needed to properly execute a goal. Practicality and patience are not virtues I was born with, but I’m learning that they can be self taught. So when contemplating your HOW?break it down into tiny steps. Steps so tiny that you don’t think they even deserve to be considered actual steps. It doesn’t matter how easy you think they are?every step you take, every move you make (I’ll be watching you?just kidding 😉 is towards that light at the end of the tunnel. I have to admit that even though crossing some of these tiny steps off the list feels silly, it still feels good because it is still an accomplishment.
Be flexible in your expectations.
Be careful though?even though the process of the HOW is important, it is a good idea to keep moving through your steps and not get caught up in one, or between the two, or get attached to a particular sequence. It is very important to be flexible and adaptable as well. Sometimes things don’t always work out how we had strategically planned for our HOWs?and this can be discouraging or cause some people to give up on their goals. There are often many routes one can take to reach a destination. Sometimes we hit traffic or construction and have to take a detour. This applies to resolutions and goals as well. Having the ability to change course while still heading towards the same goal serves us well.
Think of it like blocks…you want to build a tower so you stack the blocks one by one…sometimes they might stumble…so you have to find another way to build them to complete your tower. You still get your tower…but the foundation or even the number of blocks you end up using might be a little different from how you initially envisioned your tower blueprint.
One of my favorite yoga teachers, Sadie Nardini, often says ?Back off to go deeper??I like to look at goals and resolutions in a similar way?only I say ?Start smaller to go bigger?.
Need help staying on track with your New Year’s goals??
Join me for Reset and Recharge Your Resolutions–a FREE webinar on Thursday January 25 at 8:30 pm ET. I’ll provide some practical, and very doable, strategies to help you get back and stay on track. You’ll also learn about my new online group program, the 30 Day Reset and Recharge. See you then!
*Image 1 from Psychology Today.
